The 4 styles of parenting and how each affect teen development
Since the 1960s, researchers have extensively observed, interviewed, and analyzed parenting. From this research emerged 4 styles of parenting: authoritarian parenting (also referred to as disciplinarian parenting), authoritative parenting (also referred to as democratic parenting), permissive parenting (also referred to as indulgent parenting), and neglectful parenting (also referred to as uninvolved parenting).
As a teen psychologist with extensive experience providing teen counseling and family therapy, I have discovered the power that comes from parents and teens being aware of these parenting styles and informed on how parenting styles show up at home. I have seen how this experience encourages empathy within the family, as teens better understand their parents and parents better understand their teens. As you read about these styles below, I encourage you to consider whether the qualities that exist at home are parallel to the qualities described below.
To organize your understanding of these parenting styles, note how each style is categorized based on two dimensions specific to parent behavior and parent emotionality:
Demandingness refers to the degree of authority parents exert over their child’s behavior and their insistence or encouragement of social and emotional maturity.
Responsiveness refers to the degree that parents are considerate, respectful, and sensitive to the emotional and developmental needs of their child.
1. Authoritarian Parenting: High Demandingness. Low Responsiveness.
These parents have a strict parenting style and place high expectations on their child’s achievement—there is minimal room for error. Being empathic and focused on the emotional needs of their child, especially when an expectation is unmet, is rare.
These parents are focused on obedience and discipline as a means of controlling their child’s behavior. These parents demand blind obedience and often say things such as “because I said so.” These parents do not provide their child with an opportunity to express their own opinion or to communicate openly about the construction and enforcement of rules.
Outcomes for children raised under the authoritarian parenting style:
Are at an increased likelihood to develop depressed mood, low self-esteem, and insecurities.
Have a high propensity to develop mental health issues and substance use issues.
Often exhibit behavioral problems or conduct issues.
2. Authoritative Parenting: High Demandingness. High Responsiveness.
These parents have a more flexible, person-centered parenting style and place high expectations on their child’s achievement; being empathic with their child, throughout the highs and lows, is central to this parenting approach.
These parents establish rules and routinely enforce boundaries. These parents encourage open communication with their child and act as a guide. The style of discipline is reasonable, negotiable, goal-oriented, and focused on teaching awareness, values, and morals.
Outcomes for children raised under the authoritative parenting style:
Are emotionally resilient and are protected against the development of mental health issues and substance use issues.
Are confident and are likely to develop a high self-esteem.
Interact well with their peers.
Exhibit few behavioral problems or conduct issues.
3. Permissive Parenting: Low Demandingness. High Responsiveness.
These parents tend to take the ‘no discipline’ approach to parenting and are highly affectionate. Very few rules or guidelines exist; or, if a rule is broken, the rule is reluctantly enforced or is inconsistently enforced.
Despite these parents being warm and responsive, these parents are lenient, do not like to disappoint their child, and rarely say “no.” These parents provide their child with insufficient support which can delay the child from reaching developmental milestones.
Outcomes for children raised under the permissive parenting style:
Often struggle with self-control, respecting the boundaries of others, and following societal rules. Are argumentative and experience an outburst of anger or frustration.
Are likely to encounter problems in their relationships and in social interactions because of their disregard for other’s boundaries, especially when others say “no.”
4. Neglectful Parenting: Low Demandingness. Low Responsiveness.
These parents are often not mentally or emotionally present for their child as they are otherwise involved in themselves or in some task. These parents are indifferent to their children’s needs and do not have clearly defined boundaries or guidelines for their child’s development.
Uninvolved parents are often overwhelmed by their life outside of the family and experience mental health issues such as depression or anxiety. It’s not uncommon that these parents were neglected as children by their parents.
Outcomes for children raised under the neglectful parenting style:
Experience challenges with regulating their responses and their emotions and are often impulsive.
Are more likely to exhibit delinquent behavior, experience addiction problems, and have a high susceptibility to mental health issues.
Now that you’ve learned about the primary qualities and outcomes inherent to each parenting style, you may have discovered something: that certain qualities from multiple styles sound parallel to your parenting approach. This is common. I have found, throughout my experience in teen counseling and family therapy, that the parenting style can often shift depending on a number of factors. Some of the most common factors are time, energy, stress, self-awareness, and parent management knowledge. Although it is common for a mixture of styles to manifest, it is worth noting that adherence to an authoritative style of parenting has been linked to the most auspicious mental and emotional outcomes for children.
You can also check out our teen counseling page to learn more about our approach to working with teens and their parents.
